As we head to June, let’s take a look at how Kram feels about our pitching staff. No stats here, just feeling. If you see a pitcher inn the game, how confident are you that he can get the job done? Are you nervous? Are you yelling “Pigs Fly” before the final out? Compared to some real-life situations, here’s how it stands right now:
10: “Hold My Dialysis Machine For A Minute”
Look, not much of this stuff is “life or death,” right? But if it was, which pitcher would you feel good about from our current roster?
The answer? None
9: “Drive My Kids Home From The Game”
Really, it’s pretty important cargo. My answer still: None
8: “Do My Taxes For Me”
Phillippe Aumont, Jason Berken, Cesar Jimenez
I know, right? But these guys have been solid lately despite some hiccups here and there. They’ve been the most trustworthy of late, but it could change with (another) bad outing.
7: “Watch My Dogs While I’m Away”
Joely Rodriguez, Adam Morgan
I think the light is going on for Joely. Ultimately, I think he might be a bull-pen arm, but for now he’s eating innings and getting ground balls–pitching to contact and not worrying about striking everyone out. This has let to fewer free passes, and more outs. It’s been good of late. Let’s see if he can keep it up. Adam is still getting stronger and getting better. He still needs to pitch. As long as he’s healthy and throwing strikes, I’m OK. At this point, he is.
6: “Hold My Phone For Me For A Minute”
Dustin McGowan, Seth Rosin
Who am I gonna trust not to drop the phone or poke through all the photos? These guys have been relatively trustworthy of late. I think Rosin has the stuff to be a Major League reliever–just needs to clean up the details and make sure to minimize the damage on the nights where maybe he doesn’t have his best stuff. McGowan has been good for us, but I’m just waiting for the day when he can’t find the strike zone. It’s not him, it’s me.
5: “Watch My Drink While I’m In The Restroom”
Anthony Vasquez, Tyler Knigge
He’s got the experience–just trying to work his way back from brain surgery is all. I think he’s been solid in Reading and thus far in Allentown. I need to see more, and acknowledge that he’ll give up some runs from time to time. Still, I’m pretty sure he won’t contaminate my drink or spill it or drink it himself. Same thoughts for Tyler, who’s returning from Reading this week.
4: “Sit In This Chair So That You Don’t Get Hurt”
I’m higher on him than this, it’s just that I want to see him come back and be healthy. Plus, remember that it’s not his elbow or shoulder that’s injured.
3: “No, Really, Sit There And Don’t Move“
Is it weird that I’m more confident in Clemens when he’s injured than when he’s healthy? He’s got great stuff, hopefully he can find the strike zone when he comes back.
2: “It’s OK, You Pick The Restaurant”
Chris Leroux, Nick Hill
I know both these guys have experience getting batters out. I just haven’t seen a ton of it lately. Pick a place for us to eat as long as you’re buying–I’ll be OK. Unless it’s Indian. I’m not a fan of Indian food.
1: “Watch This Block Of Wood For A Minute”
Colton Murray, Hector Neris
Hector’s a good guy. Colton probably is, too. Murray’s been sent to Reading, and Hector’s been yanked up and down from the Phillies a couple times. Right now, I’m not sure I trust either of these guys to get important outs in a game we have a chance to win.
So that’s it. Mostly I’m trying to be funny. Everybody’s trying hard, and that’s better than hardly trying. I just want to win baseball games, you know?
See you at the park,
PS: I believe this is my 500th post on these pages. Many thanks to the readers for their support and to Dan and Jason for keeping me in line. We’re still having fun, right?