Tails From the PorkSide – Smoked Pig Edition

At some point last night this note was slipped under my office door.


That could only mean one thing… The PorkSide!

The Porkside… but what of the code at the bottom? Are there clues in there as well? 209… 209… that could be a clue. I already called Kram about his 209 but he didn’t know. Nothing in Section 209. Wait! Twitter.. I saw something on Twitter!


Barry Enright’s from the 209! We head to the Pig’s clubhouse, it’s empty but inside Enright’s locker is this…


Another clue! Wait, are we on a timeline? 8:05? Did we miss something? What is FL75? Looking around for other clues we find a lot of cold weather gear… gloves, mittens… does Tyson Gillies have a parka in his locker? All this cold weather stuff, it hasn’t been too cool here in PA lately has it.. it feels warm. Feels like springtime or… I got it! It FEELS LIKE 75! To the Time and Temp sign in the outfield!

Just as we suspected, there was a note taped to the back of the Time and Temp sign.


Man, I wish whoever is leading us on would just be up front about it… but then again, nothing in the PorkSide is ever easy.

Our next clue. BC – 8:05. Something about a cracking bat, a ball that will never be caught and a blantant reference to the Hunger Games Catching Fire on the countdown. Yeah, we get it.. time is running out. The field is empty.. strange. You’d think someone would be out here.. but yeah it is cool this morning. Probably all inside. We head back into the clubhouse to retrace our steps in case we missed anything. Nothing to be found. What is that tapping sound. It’s getting louder as we get closer to the batting cage.. the batting cage! BC! Inside the cage we find a pitching machine running on its own, shooting baseballs against the wall. Never to be caught. We’re at the right place. A hand reaches out and pulls us into a hidden door.. we are now in.. The PorkSide.

IronPigs live in the sunlit world of what they believe to be Coca Cola Park. But…there is, unseen by most, an underworld, a place that is just as real, but not as brightly lit… a PorkSide.


A voice calls to us from the darkness. As our eyes adjust we make out the outline of.. who is it? It smells familiar and kind of looks familiar.


The Smoked Pig waves us to a chair and motions us to help ourselves to a…. is that bacon on a George Foreman grill? We respectfully decline. There is a big stack of bacon on his desk.

He begins to speak…

“Trust no one”

His phone rings and he takes the call.

“Yes. Yes. Both of them. Yes. I will. Not again. Authenticate Yankee Bravo two zero niner”

He hangs up the phone.

“Do not believe their claims. The Pork Files never lie.”

He stares at us for a few moments then leads us to a room full of bacon. Yes, bacon.

“You see, there are those who believe that distractions are necessary. So many world issues, crime, poverty, hunger. They look at all of this and try to distract you from the real problems we face. So they don’t like bacon. It’s no secret it’s not great for your health. Don’t eat it every day. Simple as that. If you do choose to eat it every day the consequences are only yours. The taste of the many outweighs the control needs of the few. Some people will protest anything.”

He looks at us one final time and says this,

“Nothing important happened here today.”

The Smoked Pig points at the door and we leave, more confused than when we arrived.

Another trip to the PorkSide. When will we figure this place out? Perhaps we never will…

The Porkide is always there, waiting for us to enter – waiting to enter us. Until next time, try to enjoy the daylight.

Categories: Tales From the Porkside

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